Excerpts from postcards sent in May 1988, Dean's World Tour I:
 

Horsham, Australia, 02 May 1988 -- G'dye, mite!   It was a bit cold for me last night sleeping under a full moon in a farmer's field.  Aside from the chill, it was also hard to sleep while kookaberas were singing funny songs in the gum tree near me.  I hitched five short rides yesterday from Adelaide, and today I hope to hitch the rest of the way into Melbourne.  The rides have been coming fairly easily so far, and the people I've met have been typically Australian ... outgoing and good humored.

While in Adelaide I called a woman I had met in Athens at a youth hostel bar where I played guitar and sang.  I was quite surprised to discover that she married my buddy Ozzie, the bartender at the hostel, who is from England.  They hadn't been going together at the time I left.  Anyway, it was great visiting with both of them again.

While I've been saving money on transportation and accomodation since I've arrived in Australia, it's hardly making up for money I've been spending on eye problems.  Today, I accidentally broke my glasses, but even if I hadn't, the conjunctivitis (pink eye) seems to have altered my vision in one eye, and aside from needing a new prescription, clearing up the conjunctivitis will require yet another costly doctor visit.  Although it's considered to be quite contagious, I haven't spread it to anyone yet (as far as I know).  Still, I'm due to see Mary in Melbourne in a couple of days, and I'm unlikely to be able to woo her away from her new found boyfriend with my albino eyes.

Melbourne, Australia, 12 May 1988 -- Life can be complex.  John and Mary have been going together off and on for seven years.  This includes much of the five years that these two Australians lived and worked in South Africa.  After breaking up, John surprised Mary by meeting her in Europe, and they began to travel together, but only as platonic friends.

Enter Dean, who after realizing that John and Mary were close but not actually going together, allowed himself to fall in love hard and heavy with Mary in the presence of John while in Budapest, Hungary.  Although Mary told me it was over between John and her and encouraged me to pursue her, John was very politely requesting that I back away.  While I felt strong feelings for Mary, I was more committed to the continuation of my travel plans and decided that I would see her and John again when I originally planned to come to Australia, that being the present time, 11 months after Budapest.

During the interrum, John and Mary continued to travel together elsewhere, although only as travel companions and not as lovers.  Mary and I continued to correspond encouraging romance with the knowledge that I would be here soon.  At the same time, John and she had grown emotionally closer, and Mary, at one point, asked him to marry her.  He said "no".

Then came February.  Enter Andrew, who gradually swept Mary off her feet.  By April, when John realized Andrew's significance to Mary, it was too late when John proposed marriage to her.  She gave him no response to his proposal for three weeks.

Meanwhile, Dean finally shows up, and there's a pang left in Mary's heart for Dean to complicate matters even further.  For about a week, Mary found herself not in a proverbial love triangle, but in a quadrangle!

Finally, after a few confusing days, Dean came to his senses and decided that it was too hot and time to get out of the fire.  Melbourne is a long way from home to be getting serious.  Next, Mary delivered the news to John who has yet to realize how devastated he is going to feel; but after seven years of keeping Mary on hold, he may well find out.

Now Mary and Andrew, the most logical combination anyway, are free to live together happily ever after if they choose.  John, whom I've come to know well, and I can cry on each other's shoulders on the scrap heap of Mary's past.  Tonight, I give my congratulations to Andrew, as Mary, he and I go out for a drink or two together.

Mary's mother, Maria, who was an active participant in the 1956 Hungarian revolt, fled Hungary and became a rather successful authoress of books and short stories.  She claims to be "the most hated Hungarian woman in Australia" (of the 65,000 ethnic Hungarians) due to things she has said in her writings.  She's a wonderful lady, but a bit neurotic about her daughter's escapades.  She's normally not satisfied to prepare me one dinner each evening.  She generally prepares me two dinners.  If I stay here too long, I'll end up as wide as she is!

I was offered a cartography job at U.S. $7.50 an hour (tax free), and turned it down.  A part of me regrets that I didn't take it, but another part wants to move onward.  (May 13th ... Scratch that!  I've accepted the job!)

Melbourne, Australia, 19 May 1988 -- Rarely have I been so indecisive.  I went after a job at a cartographic firm, and when it was offered to me, I turned it down.  Then, I told them I would take the job after all, but on the day I was to start the job, I changed my mind again!  What's operating here?  The bottom line is that I've booked my flights, Sydney to New Caladonia, New Zealand, Tahiti and L.A.  From there, I hope to check in on a couple friends, take in a little of Mexico and other parts of the States before heading home.

After two weeks at Mary's house, I'm now staying with Peter, a guy with whom I travelled in Yugoslavia.  Had I taken the cartography job, it would have been convenient to stay at his home, since the commuter train is close and drops me off nearly at the doorstep of where I would have been working.

Melbourne has the reputation of having the most dismal climate on the continent.  While almost every day seems to have periods of drizzle,almost every day also has moments of sunshine as well.  Winter is a damp Seattle-like cold, and yet it never snows or freezes here.  In fact, there are many palm trees, giving some areas a tropical look.  Nearby in the low mountains, there is skiing.

Mary is one of the finest human beings I've ever met (and a damn good kisser too), but having spent some time with Andrew, I'm convinced that she made the wisest decision for herself by choosing him.  I'm beginning to think that the dream you had where I was 40 years old and still not married will probably become true.

I've been saving money by staying with friends and hitchhiking, but I've dropped money (about $250) on eye doctors.

Sydney, Australia, 26 May 1988 -- G'dye, mites!  'Ow'm I doin'?  No warries, mite!  'Ow'r the Aussies? Bonza (great)!  And the Shielas (women)?  Beauty!  Yeah, Oz (Australia) 'as 'eaps (lots) of lovely birds (women).

Aussie lingo can be bloody shit'ouse (a pain) though.  Last fortnight (two weeks ago), I 'ad some pots (glasses of beer) and got pissed (drunk) at the pub with this bloke, a real wanker (masterbator); and I asked 'im what the 'ell is a "fair dinkum"? (meaning "No kidding?").  'Ee reckoned if I just give Aussie ling a fair go (chance), in time, she'll be apples (it'll be easy).

I hitched from Melbourne to the national capital at Canberra, and then, a couple days later, to Sydney.  The rides have been coming fairly quickly and without much waiting.  Perhaps Australians are more trusting than Americans, or perhaps carrying my guitar helps.

Generalizations usually distort the truth, but here goes anyway.  I find Australians to be less stressed / more relaxed than Americans.  They also seem to be less brash and more polite.  An example might be that if I stand on a street corner of Australia's largest city, Sydney, with a confused look on my face, someone will soon come up and point me in the right direction.  Doing the same thing in America's largest city, perhaps I'd get mugged.

Australians seem less politically minded than even the average apathetic American.  Perhaps it is because they are so far away from the rest of the world and feel that they have little influence on world affairs.  It is interesting, though, that every eligible voter must go to the polls and vote or face a heavy penalty!

The anti-nuclear movement has harnessed enough sentiment to their favor here.  Many cities have signs posted as you enter which say "Welcome to our nuclear-free zone".

The two main political parties here are called Liberal and Labor.  The strange thing is that the Liberal party is actually conservative by American definitions.  Here, they interpret liberal as freedom in the sense of business interests.

Instead of politics, sports seem to be even more important than in the States.  Rugby, cricket, soccer and Aussie rules football (or "footy" as they call it) are very big deals here.  Melbourne alone has eleven (count 'em, eleven!) professional football teams, some of which can occasionally fill their 100,000 seat stadiums!

Except for the fact that nude beaches are common throughout Australia, people here seem to dress more conservatively and less casually than we do in the U.S.  Many more school age children are required to dress in suit and ties or, for girls, in dresses.  Even rock 'n roll bars often require dress shoes to be worn.

One unique thing they have throughout Australia is the bring-your-own restaurant.  At restaurants unlicensed to sell alcohol, people are invited to bring their own.

Good on ya, mate,
Crocodile Dundee II

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